How Getting Rid of Old Belief Systems Can Help You

By Tiffiny J. Fambro | Confidence

Jul 27

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As children most of our parents did the best that they could with what they knew.  They may have taught us direct skills like cleaning up our room, washing dishes, folding clothes, how to ride a bike or reading a book. 

However, they also taught us indirectly through their own behavior, how they treated people, the words they used about others and how they interacted with the world.

Our little child minds absorbed what we heard, saw, felt, and were told, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously.  This experience many times is what helped us to form our belief systems.

What Are Belief Systems?

In this context, belief systems are models or patterns of our environment and our upbringing that we copy into our mindset.  Some belief systems that are developed are due to obvious behaviors like a parent telling a child that they need to eat vegetables to grow strong bones or they need to brush their teeth. 

Other belief systems created in a less direct way, such as girl watching her father yell and scream at her mother, while the mother is quiet and nonresponsive.  This may indirectly tell that girl that women should be quiet in times when men are yelling or that it is “normal” for men to berate or verbally attack women.

Some belief systems can be taught to us based on survival instincts. For example, if a child grows up in a home where their parents did not have a lot of money and they always expressed to the child that “money is hard to get”, “money does not grow on trees” or “we you must work extremely hard to get money”.  In that situation, that child may start to develop belief systems that that encourages working hard to make money or fear around not having enough money.

The Problem

Our childhood belief systems can train us to have behaviors that, in childhood, helped us to survive, stay alive, or taught us levels of appropriateness in the given circumstance. 

However, when we grow up and leave our parents or our childhood environment, we tend to continue using many of those belief systems, whether consciously or unconsciously. 

The issue is that many people do not create new belief systems to help them navigate their new adult environment.   They instead try to use the old systems that are no longer serving them in their adult life.

Using old belief systems can result in unintentionally recreating childhood experiences or overcompensating because of childhood experiences.  They can push us to behave in ways that are nonfunctional and detrimental to our relationships or careers.  This in turn can make many of us feel stuck or blocked from expanding and growing.

In order to figure out how to navigate through these blocks we must first understand what our belief systems are and how they are affecting our lives.  Our beliefs around ourselves, our roles as women, our careers, our romantic relationships, our health and our finances. 

Once we can establish what our belief systems are, we can then make decisions on how we can more effectively proceed forward in our lives.

So, what are your deep belief systems?  What were you taught that you think may be holding you back?

Learn how to figure them out with this week’s free resource, “Questioning Old Belief Systems” worksheet.


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About the Author

Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love

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