They tell you it’s your fault and say embarrassing things about you around other people. When you are happy about something you did, they quickly explain something they did that was better. Often, they tell you all the reasons you can’t do something- you’re too old, too thin, not the right type of person.
These are just some of the signs that you were in a relationship with a narcissist and suffered at the hands of narcissist abuse.
Today, we’ll be going over the process of healing from narcissistic abuse.
Read on and learn how you can heal from narcissistic abuse after being in a relationship with a narcissist.
So, what is a narcissist? Well, a narcissist is someone who suffers from narcissism- a personality disorder in which people are completely focused on themselves and what they want.
Narcissists don’t care about anyone else’s feelings, or ideas unless they can use them to make themselves look good. Narcissism is deep selfishness combined with actively working to use and manipulate other people.
Some people are borderline narcissists. This means that they don’t have a clinical disorder, but they do show the behavior traits of a narcissist.
When in a relationship with a narcissist, you might feel like something is not right, but you are not quite sure what the problem is. This is a problem many women are faced with when dating a narcissist, and things become more complicated when you consider the fact that narcissists are great manipulators.
After taking the leap and leaving a narcissist, you might think that the stress and anxiety you felt while in the relationship will disappear. Unfortunately, this rarely happens. Even worse than this, however, is the fact that you will most likely have self-trust issues.
Unfortunately, many women I have coached have had experiences with dating or being married to a narcissist. Often, the biggest wound they have is blaming themselves for being in a relationship with a narcissist.
You see, they often understand that the person was wrong, but they still feel guilty, ashamed, and angry that they allowed themselves to go through the trauma for so long. Even worse, they began to question their decisions and judgment when it comes to relationships.
Essentially, the damage does not go away when the relationship ends.
The recovery process after narcissist abuse is a difficult one. However, if you do the right things, you can help yourself heal from your trauma and put yourself in the position to ensure your future relationship(s) don’t end negatively.
Here’s how to heal from narcissist abuse:
Let’s talk about these healing strategies in more detail.
Self-awareness is all about understanding who you are and your identity. It’s about knowing what your values are, what you stand for, what you like and don’t like, and your overall personality.
There are many ways to build self-awareness, but some of the best ways are journaling, meditation, and walks in nature. These things will help you give yourself time and space to reflect on who you are and how you feel.
Owning your feelings means asking yourself how you feel, what you feel, and being okay with your feelings. It means listening to yourself when you get that sense of hesitation, uneasiness, or fear, then asking yourself why you feel this way.
This process helps you take responsibility for your emotions and helps strengthen your connection to your intuition– a skill that will help you detect when something doesn’t feel right. Be willing to listen to and follow your intuition and say no when you need to.
Self-kindness is about giving yourself the love, compassion, and self-care you need to feel good. This could be in the form of doing an activity that you enjoy, taking time to give yourself some rest, buying yourself a gift or something you want, or saying kind words to yourself.
The most important part of this process is to experience the feelings of love, which will show you that you deserve and are worthy of love.
Trusting yourself after being in a relationship with a narcissist can be difficult. However, becoming more self-aware, owning your feelings, and self-care can help the process of healing from narcissistic abuse. These are a part of the foundation for rebuilding your confidence and belief in yourself.
When you build deep confidence and belief in yourself, not only do you start to trust yourself again in relationships, but you also start to attract people in your life that give you respect and kindness.
Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love