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Divorce can be a difficult experience to go through when you have lost a person that you love- whether you wanted the divorce or your spouse wanted to get the divorce. However, divorce does not mean that you must give up on living, especially if you have children.
So, it’s important to understand how to empower yourself so that you have the strength to keep going after your marriage ends.
As a life coach, I focus on helping divorced women rebuild their lives by understanding how to harness their internal power. This is what I consider women’s empowerment- taking the steps necessary to rebuild your self-esteem, confidence, courage, and create an action plan to move you forward faster. Empowerment allows you to take responsibility for your life and start making choices that help you thrive, feel secure, experience joy, and peace.
Here are five tangible strategies to empower yourself as a divorced woman.
The first step to feeling more empowered involves giving yourself time to grieve. Just like when a death occurs, you will experience the pain of loss when you get a divorce- even if you wanted it. Feelings such as shame, guilt, and sadness are very common after a divorce. It’s important to give yourself time to process your feelings and grieve.
Next, you need to find a therapist that specializes in divorce. Finding a therapist is important to support the healing process. It allows you to talk to someone outside of your circle and family who has an objective viewpoint. I use onlinetherapy.com. They are an online therapeutic group that offers various types of certified professional therapists and psychologists. Since they are online, they can accommodate anyone’s schedule, anytime, anywhere.
You also want to make sure that during your healing process you create a mindfulness routine. A mindfulness routine is all about building up your self-awareness, allowing yourself to stay in the present moment, and sitting with your thoughts and emotions. There are several practices that you can do to support a mindfulness routine such as meditation, journaling, going for walks in nature, or just sitting in silence and performing deep belly breaths.
Making time to heal will give you insights into what you need to work on before you get into another relationship and will teach you how to feel better in your new life.
Finances are always important, but they are especially important after you go through a divorce. When you get a divorce, you may have had to discuss alimony or palimony. You may have had to close joint accounts or sell off assets. If you were a stay-at-home parent, you may have relied on your spouse’s income.
Whatever the circumstance, you are most likely having to re-evaluate your finances. The first step after a divorce, if you haven’t done so already, is to create a new budget. This new budget is all about getting clear on how much money is coming in and how much money is going out.
You also want to get help with making sure that you’re learning about various investment strategies. When I say various investment strategies, I mean real estate, stocks, cryptocurrency, etc. The idea is to diversify your financial portfolio so that you’re able to generate cash flow from different sources.
A company that has helped me expand my income is MyConstant.com. MyConstant is a multi-market peer-to-peer lending credit platform based in the U.S. They offer two different investment products with interest ranging from 4% APR to 9% APR. They also provide a free library of resources to achieve your financial goals. I take money out of one of my savings accounts, transfer it to MyConstant, and allow it to grow.
If you were a stay-at-home parent, you may need to think about getting back into the workforce. I highly suggest you get a career coach or career counseling. Some cities have chambers of commerce that offer free career counseling services. Try looking up free career counseling in the city you live in online and see what pops up. There are a lot of free services that can help you update your resume, practice interview skills, and put yourself back into the working world.
The bottom line is that you need to become aware of your money and make sure you have enough to be financially safe and secure.
Next, you need to get clear on the next steps of your life. Building out a life plan does not mean that you know every move you are going to make over the next 10 years, but it does mean you need to start mapping out the next 2-5 years.
Start by determining your top 3 goals that you want to accomplish within the next year. Where do you want to live? Do you have goals and dreams of certain career aspirations? Are you going to go back to school? What does your life look like in the next couple of years?
As a women’s life coach, that’s a big part of what I do. I help divorced women get clear on their goals, build up their confidence and self-esteem, and create an action plan so they can see results quickly. My 90-day program, Step into Your Power and Love Your Life, is perfect for women who have gotten a divorce and are truly on the path to moving forward.
I support women in taking tangible steps to build their confidence, get clear on goals, create a physical plan that they can start taking action on immediately. If you are in that mindset of wanting to move forward, do the inner work, and be held accountable, then let’s chat.
Going through the divorce process was one of the roughest experiences of my life, and I am thankful that I already had a fitness lifestyle at the time. If you haven’t done so already, you need to start creating a healthy lifestyle. It doesn’t mean you have to be a superstar athlete, but you need to start thinking about your physical activity and nutrition.
For example, are you eating foods that are giving you energy? Do you get in enough physical activity that periodically increases your heart rate? Research has shown that physical activity can decrease stress and induce positive feelings. So, start looking at your life and determine how you can make your lifestyle a little bit healthier.
This could also include going to your doctor and getting a full physical and blood panel workup. Your doctor can look at any deficiencies that you may have in your vitamins or minerals. This will give you a good starting point as to what you need more of in your nutritional plan or what you need to decrease.
A divorce takes a lot out of you mentally, emotionally, and physically. So, you must make sure you keep your health as a priority in your life and start slowly building up habits around a healthy lifestyle routine.
If you want more support around increasing your activity, check out BeachBody On Demand. BeachBody On Demand has videos from high intensity to low-intensity ranging from quick workouts to longer workouts. They also have a nutritional portion of the whole program where you can look and see if some of the things that they are talking about around nutrition might be helpful for you.
The final strategy is to schedule some time for fun. I know this sounds kind of silly, but nine times out of 10, you probably have not been having a lot of fun- especially if you’ve recently got a divorce.
You may have been spending a lot of time dealing with serious subjects and people such as lawyers, paperwork, possibly law enforcement, real estate agents to sell your home, and the list goes on.
You need to have something that makes you smile again. For example, take yourself shopping, get a haircut, go on vacation, have a happy hour with positive friends, go dancing, join a book club, get a massage once a month, etc. Schedule a time and a date on your calendar that is devoted to you having some fun. This will help you on your healing journey as you start rebuilding your life.
Feeling empowered after a divorce can be tough when you have no plan or understanding of how to get there. However, using these post-divorce empowerment strategies will help you get back on the right track.
Empowerment starts with choosing to create a life dedicated to cultivating safety, security, joy, and peace of mind. If you are willing to do the inner work required, then you will learn how to rebuild your life and empower yourself after a divorce.
Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love