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I used to be what I would call, a “Negative Nancy”. Meaning, my whole thought process centered around what could go wrong, or probably wouldn’t happen, or probably wouldn’t work.
I would use words like, “can’t” or phrases like, “I don’t know” or “it’s fine”. Whenever something good would happen, I believed that something bad was going to occur next. Put simply, I was verbalizing negative beliefs about 75% of the time.
What’s worse, I was attracting people into my life that were like me. I was attracting other “Negative Nancies” that seemed to always have something negative or self-defeating to say about me or themselves.
Eventually, I started to realize that everything I was saying was happening. If I said I “can’t” then it would happen. If I said I was “too old”, my age suddenly became an issue for me.
Now as a women’s empowerment coach, I see the same behavior in many of my clients. They often say, “Tiffiny, I can’t do that” or “I don’t know the answer”, etc.
What I tell my clients is this, whatever you verbalize is what is true. Many times the words that come out of our mouths are first created in our minds as thoughts. So, a psychological process takes place, you think a thought, and you make a statement that expresses that thought.
Well, that thought you created in your mind and expressed in your language becomes a tangible thing in reality. So, if you say, “I never have enough money”, then you will never have enough money. If you say, “my car is a piece of junk”, you are probably about to start having serious car problems.
I got to a point where I realized my language was creating my reality. When I figured this out, it shifted my mindset. I started to be mindful of what I was saying in my mind and what I was saying out loud. I began to replace my negative words with more affirming words, or words that expressed my feelings.
I teach my clients that in order to have a life they love, they must be willing to change their language.
For example, instead of saying, “I can’t”, consider saying:
Along the same lines, instead of saying “I hate my job”, say:
Instead of saying, “I’m so fat”, say:
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Tiffiny, are you saying I should deny how I feel?” No, I’m not. What I’m saying is your feelings have merit because they are communicating your deep needs and desires. This is why it is so important to verbalize them in a way that is going to benefit you so you can get those needs met.
The next time you start verbalizing negative language, stop yourself and ask the question, “how do I feel?” Words have power, and when you intentionally use them to work for you instead of against, you positively wield your power to propel you forward in life.
Ready to start the process of gaining more clarity, confidence, and courage? I have created 3 simple steps to help you on your journey.
Don’t let more time pass by, reclaim your life today!
Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love