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When I was younger, I loved to read about Greek Mythology. The stories of Zeus, Apollo, and Aphrodite seemed so surreal and exciting. The thing is, I knew they were not real, because my teachers told me that they were myths.
By definition, myths are false beliefs or ideas that sometimes get passed down from one generation to another, or one community to another. Basically, they are stories that are not real.
Reading about myths in storybooks can be fun, but myths can be dangerous when it comes to trying to create a happy, fulfilling confident life.
There are some myths that are passed down that tell us there is a limit to what we can achieve, what we can accomplish, how we can live, and the places we can go with our lives. These are the myths that keep us stuck and not moving forward in life.
Being stuck in life means that you are not progressing the way you want to. Perhaps you have goals that you would like to accomplish, but feel like you are unable to attain them.
You may feel like you should be doing something different with your life but not sure what that ‘thing’ is supposed to be.
Being stuck is not a great feeling; it can cause anxiety, depression, hopelessness, and overall sadness. This is why it is so important to figure out if an old myth that you have believed about yourself is keeping you stuck.
Myths that put limits on us can come from things we were told in childhood. They can also come from the society that we live in, or from our own sense of low self-esteem and low confidence.
The horrible thing about these types of myths is that if you believe that they are true, then that belief will hold you hostage and keep you from doing things that could make your life better.
Below are 10 different common types of life myths that hold a lot of women back from getting unstuck and moving forward. These are things we tell ourselves when trying to figure out the reason why we are not achieving our goals or moving forward faster.
Here are the top 10 myths that you may not realize are holding you back:
Let’s discuss these myths in more detail.
How many times have you ever said, “I want to x or I want to be x, but I don’t have enough money”? I’m no fiancé guru, but I believe that money is a form of energy.
If you say you don’t have enough money, what you are really saying is, “I don’t have enough energy.” The law of conservation says that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed from one form to another.
So, for example, if you were to sell a book, you would transform the book into money. If you were to give time to a job, you would transform your time into money.
When you think about it in those terms, money, aka energy, is all around us. The question then becomes, how do we conserve more of the energy we have and how do we transfer more energy into our lives?
The best place to start with money is looking at the money that is already coming into your life. Then, look at what you are spending your money on. Are there areas of your life where you can conserver more of your money? Can you pay down debt? Can you eliminate useless expenses like subscriptions that you don’t use? Or, maybe you can add more money with a part-time job or an investment?
If you are struggling with debt take a look at Dave Ramsey’s book, The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness. This book goes over 7 concrete steps to get you out of debt on a path to making more money.
If you already follow Dave Ramsey, then you know he is a hard-nosed, in-your-face money guru. But don’t let his in-your-face manner stop you from listening, because he does have some great wisdom when it comes to taking care of your money.
The bottom line is, don’t let money be the reason you don’t go after your dreams. There are many resources that can help you with your finances, and even “Angel Investors” that can help you start a business. Be willing to ask for help and research sources when it comes to money.
If I had a dollar for every woman that I ever heard use this phrase, I’d be a billionaire. The “I’m too old” excuse.
Do you know that a lot of successful people did not get to the top of their careers until they were forty and older?
Vera Wang didn’t start her famous Bridal company until she was in her forties. Viola Davis, the award-winning actress, didn’t get her first major role until she was 43. Oprah didn’t get her first show until she was in her thirties, and even then it took years for her to build up her status.
Also, there are so many everyday women who have gone back to college in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s. You are never too old to do anything. The question is, are you willing to be mentally flexible to try something new? To step outside of your old comfort zone and do something that you have never done before?
Age is a number that helps us keep track of when we were born. But to be old, however, is to allow ourselves to stop fully living life. Be willing to live fully, at your highest level, whatever that means to you, everyday. The bottom line is, you are not too old to do anything, but you have to be willing to try.
What does this actually mean? At one point, it wasn’t realistic for a human being to be able to drive an automobile, fly in the air, sail around the world, or go to the moon. Yet, we accomplished that.
The reason we were able to accomplish those amazing advances, is because one person had an idea. They wrote down that idea, and then they started to allow themselves to think of ways to make that idea a reality.
Whatever it is that you want to accomplish in life can be real. The question is, are you willing to allow yourself to believe it’s possible for you? Are you willing to write it down and sketch out what that idea or goal could look like?
Once you start writing down your ideas, the next step is to take action. This is how you create your own reality. This is how anyone that has ever done anything really amazing has taken a thought and turned it into a realistic plan.
One thing that helps with getting ideas onto paper is keeping a journal. Having a journal allows you to express your thoughts and give your mind quiet time to relax and think. I really enjoy using the Etsy Digital Gratitude Journal. This journal allows you to write or type what you are grateful for, affirmations, milestones you want to complete, and gives you a section to write down your reflections and ideas.
If you are not sure if your dream is realistic, start writing out the possible details and take small steps to turn it into a reality.
You have the time. There- I said it. Every person has the same 24 hours as the next person. The only difference is what one person does in their 24 hours versus what another person does.
This issue of “I don’t have enough time” or “I’m too busy” is really about time management, or what I like to call, time budgeting.
Just like the money issue, what are you spending your time on? It’s hard to know whether you have enough time if you have not taken the time to write down how you are spending it.
To help with this, it’s best to do a time management assessment. This means writing down everything you do in a day and how long it takes you to do each task. Then, take a look at where you can make adjustments, eliminate time wasters, and replace them with action steps that are going to bring you closer to your goals.
I highly suggest the book STRATEGIES AND TIPS FOR TIME MANAGEMENT: Productivity Habits for Organizing Yourself and Ending Procrastination (Focus, Motivation, Priorities, Organization, Goal Setting) by Jack Barrett. He has a whole section on how he uses the Pomodoro method (which I also use) to get everything done on time and efficiently.
Get control of your time and start using it to promote your goals and dreams.
We are constantly bombarded with images of what society holds as the quintessential standard of beauty or body image in our commercials and social media. Thankfully, times are changing, and there are now many women of all shapes, sizes, skin tones, hair textures, heights, and disabilities that are breaking the glass ceiling of the old standards and promoting body positivity.
Your physical appearance should not be a hindrance to your goals. If you want to be a model, you can be. There are many types of models- full-figured models, hand models, print models, models with disabilities, and the list goes on.
If you want to play sports or dance, there are many types of athletes and all types of dancers.
Your physical appearance is not a reason to not follow your goals or accomplish your dreams. With that said, if you really want to change your physical appearance then you can do that too.
When I was a kid, and for a good portion of my adulthood, I hated the way that I looked. I told myself I was fat, ugly, and I was very cruel to myself. But the truth is, it wasn’t my physical appearance that was holding me back- it was my confidence. It was the belief that I couldn’t accomplish what I wanted because of how I looked, and what other people thought of me.
A lot of times when we use the physical appearance excuse, deep down, it’s because of a lack of confidence and lack of self-esteem.
If you allow this excuse to take over your mind, you will never get anything accomplished because no one is perfect.
If you are dealing with this issue and know you need to build up your confidence then take a look at my course THE 5 KEYS TO MAGNETIZING CONFIDENCE. In this course, I discuss how to build confidence on 5 different levels of your life and how to truly value every aspect of yourself.
Being happy and positive is great. With this said, it doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve your goals if you are not always in a good mood.
Life can throw a lot of challenges at us, especially when we are trying to make significant changes in our circumstances.
Before I started my business, my biggest excuses were, “I don’t have all the answers”, “I don’t know everything”, “how can I help someone if I’m still dealing with anxiety, worry, and life issues”? What I soon realized was that people wanted to work with me because I was a real person- I was not always happy, positive, and perfect.
When you are your authentic, real self, you become relatable. Meaning, people can relate to you. When people can relate to you, you are more likely to form a connection with them.
Now, maybe your goal has nothing to do with people or being relatable. The point is, whatever your goal is, the most important thing you can do is get focused on creating a plan and following it, whether you are in a happy mood or not.
Don’t allow your emotions to always dictate your actions. Listen to your emotions, listen to your logic, and work to find a balance between both. The people who accomplish great things in life are not always happy, but they are always in action.
If this is your excuse, then it’s time to figure out what you want. Start thinking about the things in life that make you smile- what brings you joy? What do you want your life to look like in 5 years?
If money were limitless, what would you be doing? Be willing to think big and write down your thoughts. There is a concept called stream of consciousness and the idea is to just write. Write down whatever you are thinking without trying to edit your thoughts or put any structure around your ideas.
Pretend you are a character in a book and you are the hero of the story. What does the hero do? This doesn’t mean that every idea or thought you have will become a goal, but there may be some that you can turn into a goal.
As human beings, we are always evolving and growing, so goals can change. However, you have to start somewhere. So, if you don’t know what you want to do, write down some ideas. Try just one and I promise you, more will come to you.
Einstein didn’t become Einstein until he became Einstein. Albert Einstein is known as one of the greatest physicists of all time, but this didn’t happen overnight. It was years of studying, reading, learning, understanding mathematical and statistical concepts that helped him progress.
You may not want to be a physicist, but the point is, whatever it is you want to do, you have to learn about it.
If you want to start a business, start reading books about business. If you want to become better at cooking, take a cooking class. If you want to learn how to code, take a class about coding.
If you feel like you are not smart enough, then put in the work and do the things that it takes to get smarter about the topic you are pursuing.
In this day and age, it is so easy to get information and improve your skills on any topic. When it comes to learning one company I love is Skillshare.
For those that have never heard of Skillshare, it’s an online learning community with thousands of classes ranging from design, business, technology and so much more. Anyone can join to gain new skills, discover new opportunities, and expand on ideas.
I’ve heard this excuse way too many times.
The truth is, opportunities are everywhere, but no one is going to call you up and give you a weekly update on opportunities. You have to do your research and find opportunities.
Join networking groups and meet new people. Use online search engines and see what’s in the city or town that you live in. Ask friends or family members if they know of opportunities in your field. Most importantly, get prepared, as sometimes opportunities find you only when you are prepared to receive them.
Instead of saying, “there are no opportunities”, start saying, “what can I do to prepare myself or find an opportunity that is perfect for me?”
What’s even better is, when you achieve your goal, you then have the opportunity to create other opportunities for other people who were once in your same position! It’s a great feeling to do this.
Ah yes, the excuse that “no one in my family has ever done that” or “it’s not normal for people in my family.”
If there’s something that your family wouldn’t usually do, but you want to do, now you can be the first! Just because no one in your family has ever done the thing you want to achieve doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish it.
Two of my greatest heroes’ and inspirations were my maternal grandparents, Florida, and Willie Blue. As a young married couple, at 19 and 20 years old, they moved away from the only home they had ever known. They had lost their first child to sickness and my grandfather had been honorably discharged from the military.
They moved with little to no education or money, to a completely different state and region of the country. They went on to raise 4 children, start their own business and all while working full-time jobs. As they achieved more, they were then able to help other family members who were trying to do better in life too.
At that time, there were not a lot of people in their family who had done these things, but they knew in their soul that there was more to life than what they saw growing up.
It took courage and guts to do the thing that no one in their family had done. But they did it! Guess what you can too! Be the pioneer- be the first, try it. If you fail, try it again until you succeed.
Don’t let the fear of being the first in your family to do something hold you back from being the first to go for it. The norms and traditions of your family will only change when you make a decision to create new norms and new traditions.
There are many myths that we learn in childhood, from society, family, and the world that keep us stuck and hold us back. But at the end of the day, it is up to us to make the decision to use all the resources that are available to us to get past these myths, create a plan, and take action to move forward.
It’s up to us to make a decision to create new beliefs that affirm our dreams so that we can live in ways that make us happy and allow us to progress to a better future.
Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love