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Why You Need Main Character Energy After Divorce (And How to Get It)

By Tiffiny J. Fambro | Confidence

Mar 23

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Let me tell you a little story about a day in the life of Jennifer…

Jennifer wakes up and immediately checks her phone. She checks her email just in case her boss emailed her with an extra assignment, sees she has a missed call from her mom who likes to call in the middle of the night during her bathroom break, a missed call from her ex-husband who likes to tell her what a horrible person she is for leaving him (even though he was the one that cheated), and she looks at the news of the day, which is usually negative.

She then rushes to take a shower, throws on her clothes, and runs out the door to get to work. She immediately starts answering hundreds of work emails, eating leftover doughnuts from the morning meeting, and listening to her coworker who, per usual, is interrupting Jennifer’s day to complain about her problems.

After leaving work, even though she is mentally exhausted, she rushes to help her friend move some furniture from her storage unit as she promised a week ago. Afterward, she calls her mother who is furious that she took so long to respond to her midnight message.

On the way home, she stops at the local fast-food drive-through to scarf down a greasy dinner. Once at home, she realizes that she forgot to pay the water bill (because she does not give herself time to focus on her budget), then followed up on some work that needed to get done for her boss (because she is always needing to get stuff done that he should be doing).

Finally, after a much-needed shower she plops into bed, anxiety on high, thinks of all the things she did not get done, her “failed” marriage, the children she desperately wanted but didn’t have, all the bills that need to be paid, dreaded student loans, and how the world is coming to an end. Then she tries to go to sleep so she can wake up and do it all over again the next day. Sound familiar?

The issue with this story is that Jennifer is doing everything she can to rush through her life, all the while making sure she makes everyone else’s life easy. Not only is she doing an amazing job at playing the side character for her boss, coworkers, friends, her Mom, and her ex-husband, but she is also making sure she is creating an epic roller coaster ride toward a nervous breakdown.

So, what can Jennifer do to change this? How can she stop all this frantic behavior and start making herself the priority of her own life? The answer is harnessing the main character energy.

What Is Main Character Energy?

Let’s talk about main character energy. This concept is all about looking at your life as if you were in a movie and you were the main character. In most movies, the person who is the main character has to go through a process called the “hero’s journey”. This journey takes on a very familiar formula that we have all seen played out in stories:

  • The heroine/hero of the movie starts off living a simple, decent life, but they long for more. More excitement, love, adventure, peace, etc.
  • Then they go through a series of challenging situations that they have to overcome and push past (slaying dragons, getting through the forest of shadows, saving the world from aliens, puberty, etc.).
  • As they go through challenges, they start to change- it’s like they go through a metamorphosis. They start learning lessons, building wisdom, etc.
  • Along the journey, they meet supporting characters- the wise sage that tells them they are on the path, the villain who wants to destroy all the good of the world or planet or galaxy, the guides and helpers who mysteriously show up to just in time, and the other strong supporting allies who keep the heroine company on their path.
  • By the end of the story, the main character overcomes the challenge, and they win, succeed, save, etc.

The concept of main character energy is that you see yourself as the main character of your life- the heroine, and you accept that every decision that you make in your life is writing the script and plot for how your life will turn out.

When you step into main character energy, you see yourself as the focal point of everything that is happening around you. You realize that when you make yourself the priority, everything in life starts to line up for your path.

Everything starts to work for you and you start learning the much-needed lessons that will help you get exactly what you want. Whether that is to be happy, start a business, open an orphanage, save animals, lose 20lbs, start dating kind people, make new connections, travel the world, comfortably take care of your elderly parents, adopt a baby, or whatever you want the epic plot of your life to be.

Why You Need Main Character Energy

The reason main character energy is so important is that it helps you take on the understanding that you are in control- you have the power to shape and transform your life in any way you choose.

Specifically, as a divorced woman, many times you are in the process of rebuilding your life and picking up the pieces. Achieving main character energy will help you:

  • Prioritize your needs
  • Heal from the pain of your marriage and divorce
  • Create a plan for daily self-care
  • Address any physical ailments
  • Promote your mental, physical, and emotional health
  • Feel safe and secure in every aspect of your life
  • Build your confidence and self-esteem
  • Rebuild your friend groups and connect with new people you know you can trust
  • Get your finances in order
  • Make a decision about how you want the next phase of your life to look
  • Attract an abundance of what brings you joy
  • Design a life of purpose with you as the center

As a divorced woman, main character energy is all about learning from your challenges- the experiences that really hurt you, and gaining the wisdom to learn how to not go backwards. It teaches you how to move forward using your feminine energy to receive joy, peace, abundance, and fulfillment.

living-your-best-life

How to Get Main Character Energy

To get main character energy, you must:

1. Determine What You Want in Life

Get crystal clear on what you really want in life. Not just the regular “pay bills and die” goals, but the really amazing, big dream goals that you previously would not let yourself even think about.

2. Change Your Mindset

Change your mindset and getting rid of limiting beliefs that have held you back since childhood.

3. Form Good Routines

Pour in love, healing and selfcare routines until they become habits.

4. Design Your New Identity

Design the new identity you want to have as the main character. Specifically, what you want your life to look like, feel like, who you want to have in it, and where you want this amazing life to take place.

5. Create a Plan

Create a specific plan tailored for you so you know what to do everyday.

6. Build a Support Group

Get your allies and team to support you so you don’t feel alone on the journey.

7. Take Action

Take action everyday so you can see and feel improvement in every aspect of your life.

Conclusion

Making yourself the main character of your life doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you realize that you deserve to be happy, healthy, and abundant. It helps you to be thankful for every single thing you have, from your dog, to your plants, to your annoying neighbor, to your home, to the sunlight, to your morning coffee- everything!

It helps you realize that you can choose to be a victim of your circumstances for the rest of your life or you can learn from your circumstances and use them to make yourself stronger. It helps you take the heroine’s journey to deep fulfillment which in turn gives you the strength to share your divine gifts and talents with the world.

These are all the steps I have used in my life to harness main character energy and the same steps I use with my coaching clients in my 90-day program, Clarity, Confidence, and Courage: Step Into Your Power and Love Your Life™.

If you are interested in learning more about my coaching then jump on a free discovery call with me. We will talk about what your challenges are, where you want to be, and how to get there. Click here to get on my calendar. Don’t wait to step into your main character energy, do it today!

About the Author

Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love

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