Taking ownership of your own happiness is very important!
Recently I had a conversation with a woman who was telling me that she was facing some serious life challenges. Aside from health issues, low confidence and low self-esteem, she was also dealing with a difficult marriage.
She said that she felt her spouse was not showing her the level of affection that she wanted. She explained that she worked two jobs just to take care of both of them; paying all the bills and making sure they had a good life. He had a lot more flexibility in his day but never took the time to call or text her.
She said she was always the one telling him that she loved him. She also said she was always the one showing him affection but was not receiving it in return. I asked her what she wanted and she said she just wanted to create a relationship with him. She also stated that she wanted to connect with him again.
She eluded that he was the source of her happiness. I was actually able to relate to the situation. There was a time when I thought if I worked hard enough in my own previous relationships that the person would change, THEN I would be happy.
The truth that I learned for myself was the truth I knew she didn’t want to hear. No person, place or thing can truly make us happy. Happiness is an inside job and we as women must take ownership of our happiness.
1. You must become aware that no one else can make you happy. You must realize that no matter where you go, the common denominator is you. Yes, a person’s behavior can be undesirable, but you should not use their bad behavior as an excuse to be unhappy in your own life.
2. You must recognize your own power to create your happiness. It’s all about choosing to not allow anyone to disturb your peace and make sure that you do things that bring you joy, no matter the circumstance. You can incorporate simple daily changes in your life to create happiness.
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3. Once you understand that your happiness does not depend on others’ behavior, get prepared to possibly lose a relationship. You see when you are living deep inside your joy, your behavior changes, and you start to truly take care of your needs. When this happens, the people that were demanding your energy and attention either leave or fade out of your life. They recognize that they are no longer the center of your attention and either will leave willingly or will try to force you to go back to “your old self.” Stand your ground, stay focused on your joy and don’t give in to their toxicity. Don’t get me wrong, you absolutely CAN have a relationship AND be happy, but having one definitely does not depend on having the other.
There is an amazing revelation that you will end up having when you begin to own your happiness. When you own your happiness, you truly can have everything you desire. Happiness attracts a higher quality of life, good people, abundance and true love.
Once you take responsibility for what brings you joy, you take the burden off of other people in your life.
This is what I explained to the lady in which I was having the discussion. I knew it was not the answer that she wanted to hear, but it was the answer she needed to hear. Most importantly she needed to know that she had the power to change her life and be happy even if her husband’s behavior did not change.
When a woman can take control of her own happiness despite her environment and outside circumstances, she has really reached a profound level for freedom that is life-changing.
Stop letting someone control your happiness and begin taking ownership of your own happiness today!
Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love