Why Do I Attract Needy People? (And How to Deal With Them!)

By Tiffiny J. Fambro | Relationships

Feb 24
Needy People

Have you ever been in a good mood, had a conversation with someone and afterward, felt completely drained of all your joy?

It’s like they just sucked the happiness right out of you by dumping all their emotional and toxic baggage on your mental plate.

These are what I call Needy People. These are the people that are always in need of your help, or need to talk to you about their dramatic life, etc. These people are takers and rarely, if ever, givers. People like this are not necessarily intentionally needy, but they are people that are not living up to their fullest potential.

Needy people are the people who have not done the work of creating a vibrant, functional, self-sufficient life. However, they are smart enough to know that you are someone that they can ‘depend on’ when they are in need. Some of these people come in the form of friendships, romantic partners as well as family members.

If you are realizing that you have these types of people in your life, you need to understand the reasons why they are drawn to you. These reasons are:

  1. As a person,you are a natural giver; you love giving your time and energy to others which means you are going to attract takers.
  2. Also, you feel like you need to fix or rescue people when you see them in negative situations.
  3. You have very low or no boundaries.

Don’t get me wrong- there is nothing wrong with helping people in need. However, often times issues arise when there is no balance. When your life is inconvenienced, and your priorities are put on the back burner because you are dealing with other people’s issues, there is no balance.

It’s not your job to fix people”

Here’s the thing ladies- it’s not your job to fix people (unless you are a DOCTOR). Every person on earth is on his or her own life path. Every person needs to take responsibility for their lives and circumstances.

They need to learn how to balance their giving and receiving behavior. This way, they are not sucking the life out of other people. Asking for help from others is not a weakness, but consistently depending on it is a hindrance.

Your main job is to protect your energy, life, and your time. You do that by focusing on the type of people that you want in your life; people that have a balance, are self-sufficient, abundant, and are also givers. You must be discerning about who you allow into your life. You should also be mindful of who you decide who you want to be around.

Dealing With Needy People

If you are trying to figure out if you are dealing with an emotionally needy person, download the NEEDY PEOPLE CHECKLIST HERE. This free worksheet goes over the typical characteristics of a needy person. It also gives some suggestions on how you can deal with them.

It’s good to be kind and giving but don’t allow others to manipulate and drain your time, energy and joy.

So, whenever you ask yourself the question: “Why do I attract needy people” make sure to keep these things in mind. This way, dealing with needy people can become an easier process!

XOXO Tiffiny

About the Author

Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love

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