By Tiffiny J. Fambro | Life Purpose/Life Vision

Nov 09

I used to be what I would call, a “Negative Nancy”, meaning my whole thought process centered around what could go wrong, or probably wouldn’t happen or probably wouldn’t work. 

I would use words like, “can’t” or phrases like, “I don’t know” or “It’s fine” or “something good happened so that means something bad is about to happen”.  I was verbalizing negative beliefs about 75% of the time. 

And what’s worse, I was attracting people into my life that were just like me.  Other “Negative Nancies” that seemed to always have something negative or self-defeating to say about me or themselves.

What I started to realize, was that everything I was saying was happening.  If I said I “can’t” then that was what would happen.  If I said I was “too old”, then my age suddenly became an issue for me.

Now as a women’s empowerment coach, I see the exact same behavior in many of my clients.  They often say, “oh Tiffiny I can’t do that” or “well I don’t know the answer”, or “it probably won’t happen”.

What I tell my clients is this, whatever you verbalize is what is true.  Here’s what I mean, many times the words that come out of our mouths are first created in our minds as thoughts.  So a psychological process takes place, you think a thought, then you make a statement that expresses that thought.

Well that thought that you have created in your mind and expressed in your language becomes a tangible thing in reality.  So, if you say I never have enough money, then you will never have enough money.  If you say, “my car is a piece of junk”, just know that you are about to start having serious car problems.

I finally got to a point where I realize my language was literally creating my reality.  When I figured this out, it totally shifted my mindset.  I started to really be mindful of what I was saying in my mind and what I was saying outloud.  I started to replace some of my negative words with more affirming words or words that truly expressed my feelings.


I teach my clients that in order to have a life that they truly love, they must be willing to change their language.

So For example, instead of saying, “I can’t”, here are a few alternatives:

  • “I can but not at this time”
  • “I probably can, I’m just afraid to do it alone”,
  • “I can but choose not to”
  • “no, I’m not going”
  • “I’m not available”
  • “I need time to think about that to figure out an appropriate solution” 
  • “I’m going to need support on that” 

Instead of saying I “hate my job”,  here are a few alternatives:

  • “this job no longer satisfies me, so I’m going to look for another job”  
  • “I would love a job that give me more flexibility and more money”
  • “I am so thankful for my job and will be even more thankful for the new job that is coming”

Instead of saying I am so fat”, here are a few alternatives:

  • “I love my body and everyday I am working to become heathier”
  • “I am so excited and ready to go workout”
  • “I have the power to change my body in a way that I choose”

I know you are thinking well Tiffiny are you saying I should deny how I really feel, no, what I’m saying is your feelings have merit because they are communicating your deep needs and desires. 

That is the reason why it is so important to verbalize them in a way that is going to benefit you so you can get those needs met and you can start getting exactly what you want in life. 

The next time you start verbalize negative language, stop yourself and ask yourself the question, “how do I really feel?”

The bottom line is, words have power, and the moment you intentionally use them to work FOR YOU instead of AGAINST YOU, is the very moment you positively wield your power to propel you forward in life.

This concept is one of the components of my my online course, “The 5 Keys to Magnetizing Confidence”. 

This course is all online, self-paced, and has 5 sections that explore the 5 different levels of confidence: Confident Mindset, Confident Behavior, Confident Communication, Confident Projection, and Confidence in Career/Life Path.

To get more information about the course click here>>> https://cccwomensempowerment.com/5-keys-to-magnetizing-confidence/

XOXO Tiffiny

About the Author

Tiffiny has a B.A. in Psychology, and master’s degree in Public Health Education. She worked in consulting for over 16 years, as well as previously owning a fitness and health business. In her personal life, she used personal development, mindset and health strategies to go from being overworked in a demanding corporate career, emotionally drained in a toxic marriage, physically unhealthy, and depressed to becoming an award-winning figure level bodybuilding athlete and entrepreneur. As a women’s empowerment coach, she works to help women get clear on their goals, build confidence, increase self-esteem, take action on their deep desires and create a life they love

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